Saturday, May 14, 2011
Jihad Turtleneck: Navy SEALs Discover Osama bin Laden’s Music Blog
The CIA has been going through the treasure trove of stuff found in Osama bin Laden’s Pakistani compound after the masterful raid by the Navy SEALs. Among the journals, terror plots and porno mags was a link to bin Laden’s five year-old music blog Jihad Turtleneck.
Perhaps most fascinating of all is an unfinished post from May 1, 2011, his last day on earth, where he listed his favorite songs of the moment.
Serving Aging Tipsters Since 2006
30 April, 2011
Going into hiding (albeit in plain sight) has given me time to catch up on my favorite music. There’s nothing like sitting up on the roof of my million-dollar compound, sticking the white earbuds in my giant, hairy ears and looking out for miles and miles across the Pakistani suburbs and military bases, knowing that I am completely protected and the evil, incompetent United States government will never, ever find me.
Anyway, here are a few tracks that have been rocking my world recently. Praise be to Allah!
Mumford & Sons, “The Cave.” It’s not the first time I’ve heard someone say “Come out of the cave walking on your hands/And see the world hanging upside down.” To that I say, “I can't come out of something I was never in the first place.”
Robert Johhnson, “Hell Hound on My Trail.” This song from the King of the Delta Blues Singers is absolutely terrifying - and trust me, I know from terror. Mr. Crossroads turns 100 on May 8 - you can bet I'll be celebrating that one!
The Drifters, “Up on the Roof” - “Right smack dab in the middle of town, I found a paradise that’s trouble-proof, up on the roof.” My roof deck with a 7-foot wall around it is paradise indeed: I can get sun & fresh air but no one has any idea whatsoever that I am there.
Bob Dylan, “Blood in My Eyes” - Dylan’s late-period acoustic blues always gives me the chills. But “Blood in My Eyes?” In both eyes? That’s disgusting. Blood in one eye, well that I can see.
Chuck Berry, “You Can’t Catch Me”
I’d like to send a long-distance dedication to Barack Obama: Those Tea Partiers are right again - you are too much of a wuss to ever take me out. If that no-nonsense cowboy W couldn’t catch me, how is an effete community organizer going to?
Seal, “Kiss from a Rose,” I love Seal's sexy sounds, and I can’t wait for his next record. In fact, I just got a text message saying “SEAL Team Six coming soon,” so I’ll definitely be picking that -- hold on, someone’s at the door.