Overpowering the announcement that Bob Dylan has a new album in the can (Together Through Life, to be released in April) is the story about the stinky outhouse on his vast Malibu property.
According to the LA Times, "The nighttime sea breeze sends a noxious odor from a portable toilet on Dylan's property wafting into their homes. The stench has made members of one family ill and forced them to abandon their bedrooms on warm nights."
The real disgrace here, however, isn’t the pungent port-o-let. It’s the laziness of the journalists covering the story.
See Los Angeles Times Video here
Dylan has 40-plus studio albums and well over 500 songs, many with phrases just ripe for usage in a story like this. But with the exception of New York magazine, who delivered the goods with “Defecation Row," nearly every report on this story offers a hackneyed spin on “Blowin’ in the Wind” or "The Times They Are A-Changin'."You'd think the man hadn't made a record since 1964.
Fortunately, Rock Turtleneck has whipped up a few bathroom-humor headlines worthy of the Bard of Hibbing:
Port-O-John Wesley Harding
Rainy Day Women #1 & #2
"Don’t Go Mistaking Paradise For That Outhouse Across The Road"
Shelter from the Stench
Can You Please Crawl Inside Your Outhouse?
Talkin’ Bob Dylan’s Stinking Outhouse City Ordinance Blues
Neighborhood Bully
Brownsville
Outhouse Time of Mind
Bathed in a Steam of Pure Heat
Have any more? Let's hear 'em!
Let's close out on a 1985 interview with the ABC news show 20/20 conducted at Zimmy's now-notorious Malibu estate. The ocean breeze is a-blowin.' Be thankful it's not in smellivision.
THIS LADY NEEDS TO GET SOME FORM OF A LIFE.I AS WELL AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE HAVE USED THESE THINGS AND IF BOB GETS HIS CLEANED EVERY WEEK IT WILL NOT BOTHER YOU.WHY DON'T YOU REALLY TELL US WHY YOU ARE BITCHIN' UP A STORM.I AM FAIRLY POSITIVE THAT YOU AND BOB HAVE NEVER SAT DOWN FOR ONE MORE CUP OF COFFEE TO SETTLE THIS ''SO CALLED'' PROBLEM.LEAVE BOB ALONE SO HE CAN SPEND TIME GETTING SOME BETTER GUITAR PLAYERS BECAUSE THE DUDES HE HAS NOW SUCK.WE MISS YOU LARRY BUT IT IS COOL TO SEE YOU PLAYIN' WITH PHIL LESH AS WELL AS LEVON.SO IN CLOSING THIS LADY NEEDS TO GET A GRIP AS BOB WILL NOT BE BACK IN THE STATES UNTIL LATE MAY OR EARLY JUNE.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't the reporter say if he could smell the porta fumes. Surely if it smells that bad he would have crinkled his nose or something. Nice pad Bob.
ReplyDeleteThe first one is the best.
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