The Bootleg Series Volumes 1-3, Volume 2 (or 3 or 8)

As mentioned as a rumour by Rock Turtleneck way back in June, October 7th will see the latest in Bob Dylan’s Bootleg Series. This one, called Tell Tale Signs, is a collection of alternate takes, unreleased tracks and live cuts covering his legendary third, fourth or twelfth act, which began with 1989’s Oh Mercy and continues today through 2006’s Modern Times.

The collection includes “Red River Shore” the Time Out of Mind outtake which was in consideration (and possibly recorded) for the Robert Plant/Alison Krauss/T-Bone Burnett album Raising Sand.

Tell Tale Signs more or less picks up where the original Bootleg Series Volumes 1-3: Rare and Unreleased left off. This original box set, released in 1991, was three stunning discs of previously unheard Dylan.

As many said at the time, his cast-off tunes alone would place him on the top shelf of modern songwriters.

Indeed, that collection had more gems than the Valentine’s Day sale at Fortunoff. Highlights, including the early “Moonshiner” the spoken-word “Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie,” the haunting slow version of “Idiot Wind” and 1983’s towering “Blind Willie McTell” bear this out.

Volume 7, the soundtrack to the Scorcese documentary No Direction Home, featured yet more unreleased magic, particularly a soaring “Chimes of Freedom” from the 1964 Newport Folk Festival and the Muddy Watersian early take of “Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat.”

Tell Tale Signs is sure to carry plenty of revelations as well. And if you register now at the newly refurbished bobdylan.com, you can get a free download of the Time Out of Mind leftover "Dreamin' of You," a funkified, presumably early version of "Standing in the Doorway."

Thanks Bob, for keepin' the spigot open.

But like a freight-train ridin' J-Lo, Bob still has plenty in the can. Herewith, an eclectic tasting menu of not-ready-for-Bootleg Series unreleased Dylan tracks from the Rock Turtleneck subterranean archives, which can be downloaded with a mere click.

Bob Dylan, “Cocaine Blues” 1961 Minnesota Tapes
Bob Dylan, “If I Had To Do It All Over Again (I’d Do It All Over You)” Witmark Demo circa 1963
Bob Dylan & the Band, "I'm Your Teenage Prayer" 1967 Basement Tapes sessions
Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash, “You Are My Sunshine,” 1969 Dylan/Cash sessions
Bob Dylan, “Ring of Fire” 1969 Nashville Skyline sessions
Bob Dylan, “Sign on the Window” (alternate version with strings) 1970 New Morning sessions
Bob Dylan, “Repossession Blues” 1978 Rundown Rehearsals
Bob Dylan, “Pressing On” Massey Hall, Toronto 4/20/80
Bob Dylan, “Friend of the Devil” Providence, RI 4/17/97
Bob Dylan & the Wynton Marsalis Septet, “It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train to Cry” 2004 Jazz at Lincoln Center concert
Bob Dylan, “Something” Madison Square Garden, 2002

A Big Hunk o’ Marble: Elvis Presley's Roman Statue Doppelganger

It’s the greatest Elvis-related bust this side of Ann-Margret.

This gorgeous Roman marble statue bears an uncanny likeness to the King. But it’s not one of the countless tacky knick-knacks commissioned by the Priscilla for the Graceland living room.

According to an article in the UK Daily Mail, this bust dates from the 2nd century Rome, making it a whopping 1800 years old. And it's expected to fetch over 1 million pounds in auction in October. It is currently owned by Australian art collector Graham Geddes, who calls the piece – what else? – “Elvis.”
Finally, it all makes sense. The reason we’ve never been able to answer the question “Did Elvis fake his death?” is because it’s the wrong question.

The real question we should have been asking all along is “Did Elvis fake his birth?”

How did that mama’s boy from Tupelo with a deadbeat daddy turn into the King, a world-changing force wind up selling a billion records and becoming a religious idol to millions?

Well, now we know – he is simply the reincarnation of a Roman God. A Roman God who was born - and born again - to TCB.

Until Elvis comes back again, let us enjoy him at his most Roman God-like: the 1973 Aloha from Hawaii special. Take it, E.

Elvis Presley, "A Big Hunk O' Love"

The Infrastructure Will Collapse: Radiohead's Eerie "House of Cards" Video

As they did with rock itself, Radiohead has breathed precious life into a dying medium. This time, the music video.

The clip for the In Rainbows track "House of Cards" is made without the use of a single camera.

"What?" you say. "Why, Rock Turtleneck, everyone knows one needs a camera to shoot videos - just ask Lionel Richie and Duran Duran."

But that's not how Radiohead rolls. To quote, "No cameras or lights were used. Instead, 3D plotting technologies collected information about the shapes and relative distances of objects. The video was created entirely with visualizations of that data." In English, the video was basically shot with lasers.

The effect is mezmerizingly creepy or eerily hypnotic - I'm not sure which. The same may be said for the song itself - "House of Cards" has already taken its place as one of Radiohead's most beautiful tunes, a torch ballad for the post-Estelle Getty era.

So throw your keys in the bowl and dig the groovy video. Then, to put everything in perspective, watch the "making of" video afterwards. And after that, check out their brilliant performance of the tune on the must-watch BBC show Later with Jools Holland.

Radiohead, "House of Cards" In Rainbows


The Making of the "House of Cards" video


Radiohead, "House of Cards" Later with Jools Holland

Song to Woody: Get Well Soon Ronnie Wood

It was sad to hear this week that Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood has once again checked into rehab for alcohol abuse, after years of falling on and off the wagon. Reading the news in a British tabloid, bandmate Keith Richards weighed in with his trademark brand of swashbuckling insouciance:



For all his renown, it is easy to underestimate Ron Wood's talents as a guitarist. After all, he is still the "new kid" in the Stones, despite having been in the band for 33 years. And his guitar style meshes so seamlessly with Keef's it sometimes looks like he's not really even playing, but he is. Plus, he so looks the part of a Stone that it one could easily think he got the job for his hollow-cheekboned look. After all, pianist Ian Stewart was kicked out of the band in the early days for not being ugly enough, or at least not ugly in the right way.

Let us toast Woodie with some sparkling cider and the following clip from his Guinness-swilling pre-Stones band The Faces. Their cover of The Temptations' "(I Know) I'm Losing You" is one of the great rock tracks of all time. (It was released officially on Rod Stewart's masterpiece Every Picture Tells a Story.) And it's a potent reminder that once, many moons ago, fellow rooster Stewart used to be really f-ing cool.

Cheers, Woody. Get well soon.

The Faces, "(I Know) I'm Losing You" BBC-TV, 1970

Senators & Congressmen, Please Heed the Call

The online animation pioneers Jib-Jab have released a laff-riot new video dedicated to the 2008 election.

Rock Turtleneck is not a Beltway blog. But the video is RT-worthy as it is sung to the tune of "The Times They Are A-Changin'" by our patriarch Bob Dylan. I don't know how the royalty business works with web satires and parodies, but you can be sure Zimmy's gettin' a taste.

Jib-Jab, "Time for Some Campaignin'"


Next is an unintentionally hilarious parody of "The Times They Are A-Changin'" by Bruce Springsteen, performed at the 1997 Kennedy Center tribute to Dylan.

Mr. Asbury Park sings the song with an over-the-top reverence and a Dust-Bowl drawl right out of the Beverly Hillbillies that make a mockery of one of the most durable songs in modern times.

What? He was serious? Oh yes - way, way too serious. The Boss is a talented songwriter, a brilliant performer and a stand-up guy. But when he straps on the harmonica holder, run for the hills.

Bruce Springsteen, "The Times They Are A-Changin'" 1997 Kennedy Center Honors

I'll Take Dead: Bon Jovi's Ridiculously Reverent "Wanted: Dead or Alive"

Dude I know - I'm totally bummed too that I missed the free Bon Jovi concert in Central Park last night, which was limited to 60,000 currently and formerly mulleted bridge-and-tunnel fans.

Of course, no Jovi show is complete without "Wanted: Dead or Alive." This 1987 biker anthem has emerged over time as their "Hey Jude," their "One," their "Won't Get Fooled Again," basically because it's the only song of theirs that a non-fan can stomach from start to finish.

Over the years, Bon Jovi has treated the song with increasing delicacy and reverence, performing it slower and slower every time, as if the passing years have given it a gravitas no one could have forseen back in the Slippery When Wet era.

Well they really haven't - it's still a hair-metal power ballad about bikers on the run, but Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora figure if you act like its an important song, then eventually it will be. And they're probably right.

In fact I would be that Bon Jovi gets into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame within the next ten years - surely before slighted artists like Squeeze, XTC, Yes and Patti Smith. Oh wait - she's already in.

Bon Jovi, "Wanted: Dead or Alive" Central Park, NYC 7/12/08


Bon Jovi, "Wanted: Dead or Alive" w/Springsteenian backstory and Hebrew subtitles


Jon Bon Jovi & Richie Sambora, "Wanted: Dead or Alive" Gravitas-laden acoustic version, 1996


Bon Jovi, "Wanted: Dead or Alive" Live Earth, 2007
(Wonder how much they reduced their carbon footprint by playing acoustic)

Jimmy Buffett: Cheeseball in Paradise

Last week my family and I went on vacaton to Hilton Head, the lovely island resort off the coast of South Carolina. We had a great time.

How do I know I had a great time? Because everywhere I went I went, I heard Jimmy Buffett. Sitting poolside one day, I happened to hear an entire live album of his (which I'm guessing is called either Buffett Live or perhaps Live Buffett). As I was enjoying a delicous cheeseburger Buffett started playing his big hit "Cheeseburger in Paradise" and I had an epiphany.

Buffett the marketing genius realized that he could print money by singing about the exact situation his audience is experiencing at that very second. And 99% of the time, his audience is drinking frozen margaritas, in denial about their age, and trying to get laid. Thus, 99% of his songs allude to umbrella-laden cocktails ("Margaritaville"), being young at heart ("A Pirate Looks at 40") and trying to get laid ("Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?"). The other 1% refer to cheeseburgers, which are excellent for soaking up alcohol - a must if you're hoping to get laid.

Sure, a song like The Rolling Stones' "Brown Sugar" may rock and all, but it's about a plantation owner getting busy with a slave, and maybe heroin too, to name just two of the entendres. That's Bad Times in BuffettLand.

At a Buffett show, you're not going to hear a long-winded diatribe on Iraq, Third-World debt relief or a confessional ballad about his Daddy working six jobs to make ends meet. His audience flew coach to get away from that shit, and Buffett is savvy enough to know it.

Listening to Live Buffett/Buffett Live, I started to wonder how long it will be before the Buffett experience folds in on itself like a time-space continuum, and he writes a song called "Having a Great Time at the Jimmy Buffett Show," with lyrics that go something like this:

I've got my woman and my friends
Where the sunset never ends
I didn't come here to rough it
Just to listen to some Buffett
Now he's singing about himself
While I'm trying to get it on with a MILF
What a fucking conceited freak
Sounds like a good time to take a leak

See you in line for the Port-O-Johns.

Jimmy Buffett, "Cheeseburger in Paradise" (live)


Jimmy Buffett, "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes"

A Lucky Man Who Made the Grade: Neil Young Covers "A Day in the Life"

Hot on the heels of our birthday tribute to Ringo Starr, Rock Turtleneck has learned that Neil Young has recently been playing a stunning version of the Beatles' "A Day in the Life" as an encore.

As the towering masterwork of popular song in the 20th century, "A Day in the Life" is most intimidating, but it's amazing how naturally it fits into Neil's sonic wheelhouse: the plaintive homespun melody and open chords of the first two verses gives way to the raging cacophony of the bridge and final coda with a little mid-tempo bit in the middle.

It's as if he merged "After the Gold Rush" with Arc, his 1991 feedback/noise collage, and threw in a verse of "Everybody Knows This is Nowhere" to hold it all together.

Neil, of course, replaces the London Symphony Orchestra's part - and the crashing final piano E chord - with the howling feedback of Big Black, his trusty Les Paul.

As the clip below from the Rock in Rio festival demonstrates, Mr. Bernard Shakey has brilliantly, angrily recast the ultimate 60s freak-out for the 21st century - the "holes in Blackburn Lancashire" might as well be bodies in Bagdhad.

Neil Young, "A Day in the Life" Rock in Rio Festival, Madrid, 27 June 2008

Peace and Love and Birthday Cake: Happy 68th Ringo

A big peace sign 68th birthday shoutout to Richard Starkey, who went on to fame and fortune as Ringo Starr, drummer for the Liverpool tea-room dance combo The Beatles.

Many call Ringo "the Luckiest Man in Showbiz" but this is unfair. If a friend says this to you, you should end this friendship immediately as this person is a tone-deaf ignoramus.

Sure, compared to the once-in-a-century pairing of Lennon & McCartney and the brilliant guitar work and late-blooming songwriting of George Harrison, Ringo may not seem like a huge talent. But his driving rhythms and creative fills are an integral part to many of the greatest Beatles songs. And John, Paul and George all said that the band never really gelled until Ringo came on board.

Besides, he was bloody Ringo, a key ingredient in the Beatles one-of-a-kind alchemy. Would Rubber Soul have been a better album if the drummer was Neil Peart? And if your answer is yes, would Neil Peart been able to pull off the lead role in Help!?

Peace and Love, Ringo. Herewith, some truly fab & gear Ringo moments:

The Beatles, "Rain" 1966


The Beatles, "Long Tall Sally" Live 1964


The Beatles, "A Day in the Life" 1967


Ringo, "Photograph" The Concert for George Harrison, 2002


BONUS RINGO CLIP:
In addition to being a creative, innovative drummer, Ringo also makes a dandy piece of toast.