Playing Well Is the Best Revenge: R.E.M.'s Accelerate

Post-Bill Berry R.E.M. has been a musical version of the 2008 Hillary Clinton campaign: going on longer than nature intended and alienating its fan base by steadfastly refusing to acknowledge – in public anyway – that anything is less than hunky dory.

That’s why tomorrow’s release of Accelerate, by all accounts the strongest, leanest record R.E.M. has made since at least New Adventures in Hi-Fi, is a cause celebre.

As a devoted R.E.M. fan since 1982, when I first heard “1,000,000” on the legendary Garden City, Long Island new wave station WLIR, I am looking forward to retiring the following phrases from my lexicon:
> “R.E.M. hasn’t made a good album since the Clinton-Lewinsky era.”
> “Apparently, the power of R.E.M. was centered in Bill Berry’s unibrow.”
> “I wish they would break up.”
> “I take their lameness personally.”
> “Their last record made Air Supply sound like Motorhead.”

Accelerate is a 35-minute blast of Document-style au courant agit-rock. To whet your appetite before tomorrow’s release, enjoy the following performances filmed by director Vincent Moon for his La Blogoteque website's Take Away Shows project in September, 2007. The concept here is simple: he takes bands out of their musical comfort zones – stages and studios – to film performances in compellingly unexpected locales – in a car, a grain silo, etc.

R.E.M. filmed five songs for Moon in Athens, GA. Here are the first two, the very Automatic for the People-ish “Until the Day is Done” and the album opener “Living Well’s the Best Revenge.” To see the rest, along with some very interesting behind-the-scenes commentary, visit La Blogoteque.

R.E.M., “Until the Day is Done,” Athens GA Street

#89.1 - R.E.M. - Until the day is done
by lablogotheque

R.E.M., “Living Well’s the Best Revenge,” Michael Stipe’s moving Volvo station wagon

#89.2 - R.E.M. - Living well is the best revenge
by lablogotheque

Rutlemania!

If you are anywhere in the tri-state area, you are surely aware that New York City is in the giddy throes of Rutlemania. After a legendary career and equally epic breakup, The Rutles - Dirk, Stig, Nasty and Barry - have put aside their considerable differences for an historic run of shows at the Blender Theatre at Gramercy on East 23rd Street.


VH1 Classic helped whip things into a frenzy this week by screening the classic 1978 Rutle-mentary The Rutles: All You Need is Cash. It follows their stunning musical evolution from a scruffy, Liverpudlian dance-hall combo...


The Rutles, "Goose-Step Mama"


To loveable moptops...

The Rutles, "I Must Be in Love"


To matinee idols...
The Rutles, "Ouch!"


To global messengers of peace...
The Rutles, "Love Life"


To psychedelic visionaries...
The Rutles, "Cheese and Onions"


To the end, when drugs, bad business and overbearing women got in the way. But love & cash won out long enough for the boys to bring it all back home:

The Rutles, "Get Up and Go"


If you are not completely up on your Rutle lore, a screening All You Need is Cash and the 2002 follow-up Can't Buy Me Lunch are in order. Music wise, the career retrospective The Rutles is a good place to start. Now get up and go!


Rock Turtleneck Bonus: Beatle parodies for download
National Lampoon, "Magical Misery Tour" , Radio Dinner
(lyrics taken verbatim from John Lennon's famously bitter Rolling Stone interview)

Bonzo Dog Band, "Give Booze a Chance" (written by Python Neil Innes, who also wrote all the Rutles tracks)

Ron Lennon (aka Innes), "The Children of Rock & Roll"

The Dukes of Stratosphear (aka XTC), "The Mole from the Ministry," Chips from the Chocolate Fireball

The Dukes of Stratosphear, "You're a Good Man, Albert Brown," Chips from the Chocolate Fireball

Jack White: Two-Band Man

In a time when genuine, earthshaking rock & roll bands seem to be in short supply, Jack White has the luxury of being in two of them.

The Raconteurs’ fun debut album Broken Boy Soldiers had an air of a one-off side project for someone itching to play in an honest-to-god band instead of the two-piece White Stripes.

But based on Meg White’s recent tour-canceling anxiety attacks, the inherent limits of the Stripes' formula and the strength of the new Raconteurs record Consolers of the Lonely, it’s now possible to imagine the Raconteurs being the band still standing when the deal goes down.

YouTube: The Raconteurs, "Salute Your Solution, " Consolers of the Lonely


As the “Salute Your Solution” video shows, the Raconteurs have tightened into a real working band. Dual songwriters White and Brendan Benson have a Lennon-McCartney yin-yang thing going on – White being the howlin’ wolf and Benson the sensitive tunesmith, with plenty of crossover betwixt the two. And the rhythm section of drummer Patrick Keeler and Corey Feldman look-alike Jack Lawrence (who also played on the White-produced Loretta Lynn comeback Van Lear Rose) give them a groovy wallop.

Like all great bands in their prime, the Raconteurs are possessed with a sense of urgency: Consolers of the Lonely, released yesterday, was recorded less than a month ago. I have yet to hear it in full, but the word on the street is that it rocks – rocks very hard indeed.

Now that Mr. White has two kick-ass bands up and running, here’s an idea for #3: the New Highwaymen, an Americana-steeped supergroup featuring Jack, Beck and their grizzly buddies Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson. Get to work, gents.

In the meantime, some "vintage" 2006 Raconteurs, starting with two wonderful takes recorded for the venerable KCRW Morning Becomes Eclectic show:

The Raconteurs,"Together," KCRW Morning Becomes Ecelctic (3/8/06)

The Raconteurs, "Broken Boy Soldier," KCRW Morning Becomes Ecelctic (3/8/06)

YouTube: The Raconteurs, "Broken Boy Soldiers"



YouTube: The Raconteurs, "Crazy" (Gnarls Barkley cover), Lollapalooza 2006

Farewell to the Fifth Beatle: R.I.P. Neil Aspinall

Neil Aspinall, childhood chum, trusted confidante and aide de camp to the Fab Four, passed away yesterday in New York City of lung cancer at the age of 66. Macca, gentleman that he is, came to his bedside to pay his final respects. (Heather Mills was unavailable.)

Aspinall was a friend of Paul McCartney and George Harrison at the Liverpool Institute and became the Beatles' road manager when the band began to get steady work at dances. He was their road manager through the Beatlemania years and was instrumental in running Apple Corp.

Aspinall also oversaw many of the Beatles' most important post-breakuup releases, including the must-own Anthology video, CDs and book, the Live at the BBC CD set, the Yellow Submarine refurbishing and the "1" hits collection, a fine sing-along companion for a long drive.

Perhaps most remarkably, he fathered an illegitimate child in 1962 with Mona, the Mrs. Robinsonian mother of doomed drummer Pete Best.

Neil Aspinall is one of the people who is routinely referred to as a "fifth Beatle" alongside tortured-artist/bassist Stu Sutcliffe, producer George Martin, manager Brian Epstein and NY DJ Murray the K, who coined the term. As the obituary in the New York Times pointed out, George Harrison said that if anyone deserved the moniker, it was Aspinall.

But even if he is only the 6th or 7th Beatle, that is still higher than most. Cheers, mate.

Neil also helped out from time to time with the Beatles creative side. Herewith, Neil Aspinall's greatest hits.

YouTube: The Beatles, "Yellow Submarine" (Neil Aspinall, background vocals)


YouTube: The Beatles, "Magical Mystery Tour" (Neil Aspinall, percussion)


YouTube: The Beatles, "Something" (Neil Aspinall, promo director & cameraman)

He Once Was Lost, But Now He Is Found: The Prodigal Velvis

Rock Turtleneck loyalists know that last May my house was partially destroyed by a freak mini-tornado that whipped up my street and pulled two huge trees out of the ground. No one was hurt thankfully, and soon we will be moving back into a nicely refurbished home.

In the ten months since the incident, a blue tarp has sat in our front yard, covering what we assumed was simply destroyed furniture. Neither my wife Liz or I were in any rush to look at it and revisit the trauma of last May.

Yesterday, however, we decided to do a little pre-move-in spring cleaning and Liz took it upon herself to see what was underneath the tarp after all. I was on the other side of the yard.

"Steve," she hollered. "You'd better get over here."

Staring me in the face was the gorgeous visage of the King etched into luxurious velvet, surrounded by dirt, dead grass and debris (seen above). The framed velvet Elvis, or "Velvis" as I like to call him, was a gift from friend and fellow Graceland pilgrim George Feinn. After the storm, I assumed that Velvis, like Elvis, had been left for dead, flushed down Mother Nature's toilet. In both cases I was horribly, thankfully wrong.

I have always been skeptical about religious messages delivered via mundane objects - the Virgin Mary on a pancake, Jesus on a pork rind, etc. - but there was no question higher powers were in play here. The ressurection of Velvis - on the day between Good Friday and Easter no less - was a message about the power of perseverence delivered in no uncertain terms straight from the King himself.

To put things in perspective, I naturally turned to one of my favorite Elvis records: Ultimate Gospel. Gospel music was held most sacred by Elvis, and he spent many a night around the piano with his cronies and bandmates belting out "Lead Me, Guide Me," "Bosom of Abraham", "O Happy Day" and countless other devotionals.

Ultimate Gospel takes the best moments from the many gospel LPs Elvis recorded throughout his career. As true Elvis fans are fond of pointing out at cocktail parties, the only Grammy Awards Elvis ever won in his lifetime were in the gospel category. As the clips below make very clear, his sacred work could be as solemn or as hip-shakin' as any of his heathen secular recordings.

So thank you, Elvis A(a)ron Presley, for inpiring us once again. And thank you, Velvis. You once were lost but now you're found. I was blind, but now I see. And you look better than ever.


mp3: Elvis Presley, "Amazing Grace," Ultimate Gospel
mp3: Elvis Presley, "Run On," Ultimate Gospel
mp3: Elvis Presley, "Bosom of Abraham," Ultimate Gospel
mp3: Elvis Presley, "How Great Thou Art," Ultimate Gospel

YouTube: Elvis Presley, "Amazing Grace"

Happy Spring

YouTube: "Springtime for Hitler" The Producers (1968)

The Regan Era: Brian Regan Rocks Tarrytown

Here at Rock Turtleneck, we are all about rocking. And the RT funnybone was rocked to the core on Sunday night by comedian Brian Regan, who held court at the Tarrytown Music Hall on the bank of the mighty Hudson River.

Mr. Regan's brilliant insights were delivered with hysterical physical brio. His material was top-shelf from beginning to end, touching on topics ranging from the absurdity of the word "manslaughter" to the variety of ways one might prepare a Pop Tart. Perhaps most amazingly, his act is as clean as an OCD's medicine cabinet.

What also makes Regan Rock Turtleneck worthy is the Lynyrd Skynyrd-like devotion of his fans. At show's end, the screams for Regan to reprise his greatest bits — "Take Luck!" "Emergency Room!!" "Donut Lady!!!" - might has well have been for "Free Bird."

Regan is the premier pure stand-up comedian of his time. He is a true comic's comic, a master of the craft in the tradition of George Carlin, Steve Martin, Don Rickles and Bob Newhart. He is also a favorite of hard-to-please David Letterman, who has had him on his show 20 times. Mr. Regan's tour is on its way to the southeastern US. Catch him if you can. Your funnybone will thank you.

YouTube: Brian Regan, Late Show with David Letterman, 3.14.08


YouTube: Brian Regan, "I Walked on the Moon"

What's on my iPod by Eliot Spitzer

by Eliot Spitzer

My appetite for transporting top-shelf hookers across state lines is legendary. But I'm equally insatiable when it comes to my love of great music. Here are some tunes that have been rocking my 160GB iPod recently.

Blondie, "Call Me"
As a proud, frequent, generous patron of the world's oldest profession, I enjoy any song about prostitution, be it male or female. This song, originally recorded for the soundtrack of the Richard Gere film American Gigilo, gets my Spitzer spitzin' every time.


Nick Gilder, "Hot Child in the City"
Songs about hookers are like hookers themselves: you can't have just one, and when you're an arrogant man of power with no thought to the repercussions of his actions, why should you? (Hey "Kristen," maybe you should cover this when you get a record deal - Client-9)


Duke Ellington, Take the "A" Train
That's "A" as in Amtrak, which I used to ship "Kristen" from NYC to DC. But read my lips: the "A" does not stand for Acela. Even though I am worth half a billion dollars, my hookers travel coach, capiche? It's that financial acumen that was going to help me balance the state budget until I was tossed from office like a half-eaten tunafish sandwich.


Fleetwood Mac, "Go Your Own Way"

Silda, my beautiful, loyal Harvard-educated wife on whom I enjoyed cheating by having unprotected intercourse with whores, has been cranking this one lately in our Fifth Avenue apartment. It seems like only yesterday her favorite Mac song was "Landslide."


Bob Dylan, "Billy 1"
Dylan has a song for every occasion - even the spectacular fall from grace of a take-no-prisoners politico who can't control his addiction to rough trade. Just check out this stanza from "Billy 1" on the soundtrack to Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid:

There's always some new stranger sneakin' glances
Some trigger-happy fool willin' to take chances
And some old whore from San Pedro to make advances
Advances on your spirit and your soul.



James Taylor, "Steamroller Blues"

"I am a f%$#ing steamroller," I famously yelled at NY State Assembly Minority Leader James Tedisco last year when he complained about being left out of some important negotiations. "I'll roll over you and anybody else." Now I'm like a rolling stone - on my own with no direction home, like a complete unknown. How does it feel? Like f%$#ing sh*t. Take it, JT:

Lady Madonna, Children at Your Feet: Madge Makes the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

Some might say that Madonna, the most recent inductee to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, isn't actually even a true rock & roll artist, more of an exceptionally hard working, business-savvy provacateur.

Madge (as we at Rock Turtleneck affectionately call her) is nothing if not self-aware,and she must have sensed this as well. So after a long, remarkably humble acceptance speech, she passed on performing a medley of career highs, as is the tradition. Instead, she handed the reins to "another ass-kicker from Michigan": Iggy Pop and his band the Stooges.

YouTube: Iggy Pop, "Burning Up" and "Ray of Light," 2008 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony


This masterstroke allowed her to preside over the ceremony in her beloved faux-English Grande Damme persona. It also spared her from doing one of her usual heavily choreographed numbers, which clash with the Hall of Fame's three-chords-and-the-truth ethos. And a set of overly reverent acoustic versions of "Borderline," "Papa Don't Preach" and "Like a Prayer," for example, would have done little more than highlight the thinness of her voice.

Iggy did a good job with the material in his charmingly amateurish way. He pretends to be the poster child for “edgy” and “dangerous” by wearing no shirt and acting like he's on drugs, but he’s really just a harmless entertainer with a shtick like anyone else.



Ironically, Madonna can easily lay claim to being much more "dangerous" and hence “rock.” While Iggy has always been a fringe act incapable of offending his core fans, she has been selling out arenas and offending mainstream sensibilities — sometimes creatively, sometimes pathetically — for 25 years.

Mr. Pop’s song selection was spot-on. “Burning Up” is one of Ms. Ciccone’s most rock-like early tracks. And “Ray of Light” is her best song period, easily one of the best popular songs of the last ten years. Even people who don’t like the Material Girl admit it’s a good one.

Ray of Light the album, from 1998, was her first after giving birth to her daughter Lourdes and finding Eastern-based spirituality. To me, the song seems to be a celebration of the cosmic mysteries of parenthood and life: wondering where this new soul came from, where it was before and finding it impossible to imagine them ever not being a part of your life.

Actually, the perfect artist to cover “Ray of Light” would be U2, for the song has much of the soaring, spiritual longing and grandeur that defines their work. With its euro beats, distorted guitar and driving rhythms, "Ray of Light" would fit nicely on Zooropa or even All That You Can't Leave Behind.

Inductor Justin Timberlake noted in his speech that Madonna has scored a whopping 48 Top Ten singles in her career. That would pretty much make her the female Elvis. Cheers, Madge. And thankyouverymuch.

YouTube: Madonna, “Ray of Light”



mp3: Madonna, “Ray of Light,” Ray of Light
mp3: Madonna, “Candy Perfume Girl,” Ray of Light

Road House Blues

Two cancer-related tragedies rocked our world this week: the death of the brilliant blind blues guitarist Jeff Healey, 41, who had suffered from various forms of the disease his entire life, and the announcement that Dirty Dancing uberhunk Patrick Swayze is suffering from the pancreatic variety. (Equally shocking is that Swayze is a whopping 55 years old.)

Rock Turtleneck readers, who without exception, have a Rolodex-like access to the most arcane pop culture minutia, know that Jeff Healey and Patrick Swayze appeared together in the 1989 film Road House.

In this sweeping epic, Swayze plays nothing less than the world’s greatest bouncer. (Presumably, Swayze took this role as a way to distance himself from the dreamy but slightly feminine Dirty Dancer Johnny Castle.)

Swayze's character Dalton works the door at a sawdust, peanuts and chicken-wire mulletopia. And may the good Lord have mercy on the fool who gets out of line, for thee will have to face the Zen-like wrath of Swayze – a man of peace who is not intimated by the brawniest biker, the most belligerent drunk, the scummiest would-be rapist. Kicking their ass and showing their girl some sweet lovin’? It’s all just part of a day’s work.

YouTube: Clip from Road House wherein Dalton explains his bouncing philosophy


Healey, meanwhile, had just made a huge splash on the white-blues scene as the heir to the soon-to-be-vacated throne of Stevie Ray Vaughn. And he absolutely nails the role of a blind blues guitarist in the Road House house band.

Listening to Healey play was impressive, but he was just as compelling visually. He sat calmly with his standard electric guitar on his lap. Yet his style was completely unorthodox: he formed chords and played lightning fast solos with his left hand almost as a piano player uses their right, summoning the same demons as Robert Johnson or B.B. King. His ironically titled 1988 debut See the Light went Platinum and the single “Angel Eyes” even reached the top 10. He was an accomplished jazz musician as well.

YouTube: Jeff Healey Band, "Roadhouse Blues," (live 1989)


The fact that both masters have faced cancer at almost exactly the same time begs Rock Turtleneck to ask the painfully obvious question: Is Road House the Love Canal of High-Concept films? The JFK Assassination of Bouncer Movies? Is everyone associated with the film doomed to meet a tragic, oddly coincidental fate? We certainly hope not.

We thank Mr. Healey for his years of dedication to the blues and hope he may RIP and TCB for all eternity. And we wish Mr. Swayze a speedy and full recovery. Herewith, for your viewing, listening pleasure, two choice moments from the Swayze/Healey canons:

YouTube: Jeff Healey Band (w/Dr. John), "See the Light" (live)


YouTube: Patrick Swayze: "She’s Like the Wind"

You Can't Always Get What You Want

According to a BBC documentary, Mick Jagger was the target of a bungled assasination attempt by the Hells Angels in 1970. Apparently the Angels, who were hired to handle security for the Stones's free 1969 concert at Altamont speedway (good idea), were miffed that Jagger had sworn never to use their services again after an Angel stabbed and killed a concertgoer named James Meredith only feet from the stage as the Stones performed "Under My Thumb." The incident was famously captured in the greatest rock film of all time, Gimme Shelter.

YouTube: The Rolling Stones, "Under My Thumb," Gimme Shelter

The Angels' hare-brained attempt at revenge is almost too bizarre to be believed. Knowing that Jagger was staying at his home in the Hamptons, the bitter bikers plotted to "off" the large-lipped lothario by entering his beachfront compound by boat, Normandy-style, so as to avoid security.

But while the Angels were cowboys on the steel horses they ride, on water they were Nancy boys. A storm brewed while they were at sea; the Angels were thrown overboard. Unfortunately, they all survived.

The foiled caper brings to mind the recent short-lived ABC sitcom The Knights of Prosperity, wherein a bunch of losers launch an equally ridiculous plan to extort Jagger - except those goons actually made it into Jagger's place of residence.

All of us at Rock Turtleneck are thankful that Sir Michael was spared the wrath of the Hells Angels, for he stuck around to make Sticky Fingers, Exile on Main St., Some Girls and a host of other classics. In celebration of the Angels incompetence, some classic post-Angels-Assassination-Attempt Jagger. Cheers, Sir Michael.

YouTube: The Rolling Stones, "Loving Cup" 1972 Exile on Main St. Tour Rehearsal, Montreaux


YouTube: The Rolling Stones, "Hot Stuff," Black & Blue


YouTube: The Rolling Stones, "Far Away Eyes," Some Girls


YouTube: The Rolling Stones, "Dead Flowers," Sticky Fingers, 1971


YouTube: Peter Tosh & Mick Jagger, "Walk & Don't Look Back," 1978