It balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine – your brand-new retrospective Bob Dylan box set!

DYLAN
(Columbia)
Only a true cynic could find fault with DYLAN, the gorgeously packaged, lovingly remastered, fully comprehensive, reasonably priced 3-CD career overview.

Well, there is one complaint: the title. With 51 songs, four of the Bard of Hibbing's finest hours, some of the most visionary, inscrutably scrutinizable popular music ever recorded, the best name they could come up with was… DYLAN?

Since Bob is such a darling of academia, how about Dylanology 101? DYLAN includes all of his so-called standards: "Blowin’ in the Wind," "The Times They Are A-Changin’", "Like A Rolling Stone," "Lay Lady Lay," "Not Dark Yet" and so on. The deluxe version even comes with flash cards highlighting important moments in Dylan’s epic career, from the plugged-in Newport Folk Festival to his 1979 14-night, born-again residency at the Warfield in San Francisco. Spend some time with this box set and you'll have no problem casually dropping a choice Dylan reference at your next neighborhood cocktail party:

• Find yourself talking to someone who’s down on their luck? Inspire them with the "Like a Rolling Stone" Dylanism “When you ain’t got nothin’, you got nothin’ to looooose.”
• Iraq? “I was listening to some Dylan on the way over and “Masters of War” seems more relevant than ever.”
• Impromptu toast? Grab a stanza or two from “Forever Young”: “May your heart always be joyful, may your song always be sung/And may you stay… forever young.” Cheers.

Another good title for this box might be Bob Dylan Approximately. While all the so-called Dylan “standards” are here, hardcore fans will tell you that no Dylan collection without “It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)”, “Visions of Johanna” or “Shelter From the Storm” can be called definitive. Then again, anyone who would say that probably has at least eight versions of each of these songs in their iTunes library, from the original album versions to Bootleg Series live cuts to actual bootlegs like the 1978 Rundown Rehearsal Tapes. (I know I do.)

DYLAN is as red as Rudolph's nose for a reason: it’s an ideal holiday gift for the person in your life who loves “Tangled Up in Blue,” “Positively 4th Street,” “Hurricane” and “All Along the Watchtower,” but has never taken deep-sea dive into the catalog.

That said, DYLAN does throw a few curveballs: “Most Likely You Go Your Way And I’ll Go Mine” from Blonde on Blonde is here rather than, say, “I Want You.” So is Blood on the Tracks's heartbreaking “Simple Twist of Fate.” So are relatively obscure 80s gems “The Groom’s Still Waiting at the Altar,” “Dark Eyes” and “Everything is Broken.” There are even a couple of excellent tracks from his two early-90s albums of blues covers, particularly "Blood in My Eyes."

I would have preferred the rollicking Basement Tapes version of “You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere” to the Greatest Hits Vol. II version. And I could do without “Make You Feel My Love,” easily the lamest tune from his late-career renaissance. But the wise inclusion of Love & Theft’s magnificent “Po’ Boy” and his Oscar-winning "Things Have Changed" more than make up for it.

Back to the title. Since Bob Dylan is one of the greatest wordslingers to ever walk the earth, how about something from his fabled lyrics? I’ll Know My Song Well Before I Start Singin'? Skipping Reels of Rhyme? I Need A Dumptruck Baby To Unload My Head? My Burden is Heavy, My Dreams are Beyond Control? Written in My Soul from Me to You? You May Call Me Bobby, You May Call Me Zimmy? Don’t Get Up Gentlemen, I’m Only Passing Through? Pig Circus? Leopard Skin Pill Box Set?

Then again, maybe DYLAN isn’t such a bad name after all.