Dr. Zimmerman's Guide to Luv

Bob Dylan wasn’t born with matinee-idol looks like Tyrone Power or a voice like Frankie Laine, yet he still manages to score big-time with the ladies. How does he do it? The answers, my friends, can be found in his fabled lyrics.

Gentlemen readers, just in time for Valentine’s Day, here are six Dylanesque ways to get your lady in the mood.

1. Coyly refer to yourself in the third person. “His clothes are dirty but his hands are clean/And you’re the best thing that he’s ever seen.”(Lay Lady Lay)

2. Invoke the apocalypse. “I’ll be with you when the deal goes down.” (When the Deal Goes Down)

3. Appeal to her maternal instincts. “Kick your shoes off, do not fear/Bring that bottle over here/I’ll be your baby tonight.” (I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight)

4. Use a little reverse psychology. “Don’t think twice, it’s all right;” “All I really want to do/Is, baby, be friends with you;” “It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe;” "You're gonna make me lonesome when you go."

5. Make an anagram-y thing out of your old lady’s name and turn it into an album-side-filling epic. Sara Lowndes ->“Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands.”

6. Who needs Champagne? Make a fresh pot o’ Joe. “On a night like this/So glad you came around/Hold on to me tight/And heat up some coffee grounds.”

7. Get all Alpha-maley. “Jump into the wagon love/Throw your panties overboard.” (Highwater (For Charley Patton))

8. Don’t be afraid to get kinky. “Strap yourself to the tree with roots/You ain’t goin’ nowhere.”